The Skylark Who Forgot How To Fly
by shad0w0w0lf
Summary: Flightless, the skylark wishes only to fly. A story about the skylark who forgot how to fly. Cutting off your ties to distance yourself from others will only cut off your own wings. The skylark imprisoned himself in a cage locked from the outside. Will anyone ever find the key to his lost heart? - probably a bit of (light) D18 later on (short story - shonen ai, basically)
1. Flightless

Hello, and welcome to my first KHR fanfic! ...that sounded somewhat cheesy or clichéd.

So this will be a story about my all-time favourite character, Hibari. Currently, I don't have much to say, so I hope you enjoy! Constructive critisism is always welcome!

_edit: a friend pointed out that Kusakabe calls Hibari "Kyo-san" rather than "Hibari" so yeah, changed that for you (it's been ages since I've read KHR...) thank you!_

KHR (c) Amano Akira etc.

* * *

Flightless

With a sigh, the black-haired boy closed his tired eyes and leaned back dangerously on his chair. It was so noisy. Always. There were too many people all making too much noise and fussing over something or other and gossiping and arguing and shouting about trivial matters. These matters didn't concern him, but the noise most certainly did. Hopefully, all those students would leave soon and go home, as school had finished at least ten minutes ago.

The cloudless blue sky stretched endlessly above Namimori Middle School and the sun was proof that summer had almost come. Pink cherry blossoms were in full bloom, exploding with colour all down the streets. Namimori students flooded out of the school gates, keen to get home after an exhausting Monday.

But even as the world was coloured with life around this particular school, that one person remained as cold and dark as ever. As he looked out the window, he closed his eyes and sighed again. He let the chair fall back onto all four legs with a resounding _crack _and laid his head in his arms on the table. Out of the corner of his piercing black eyes, he kept watch on the door to this room – _his _room. More importantly than the fact that this was _his_ room, was the fact that he didn't want anyone to see him like this. No, not even his second-in-command. The truth was –

Suddenly, the door opened and the boy bolted upright in his chair, leaning backwards and pretended to stare uncaringly out the window. Meanwhile, his second-in-command came in: Kusakabe Tetsuya in his black outfit that belonged to the disciplinary committee. Of course, he wasn't called by his name. That would be too… _kind_. Besides, it wasn't as if they were on… _friendly_ terms, right?

"Kyo-san, today –" he began, but was stopped by a menacing glare.

"It's _chairman_ to you," answered the boy, folding his arms across his chest with a childish defiance. After that, he sat through a dull report on something or other regarding matters concerning the disciplinary committee and their duty. As soon as the description was finished, the boy leader ordered the other to leave. When Kusakabe had left the room (_his _room), Hibari Kyoya went back to his lounging around and brooding.

It was nearly summer and yet he still felt so cold. Why? True, he always felt cold and he presumed that it would take more than a simple white shirt and black gakuran jacket to keep him warm, yet _surely_ it still shouldn't be _this_ cold. Frowning to himself, he bit the inside of his lip. Maybe this cold was to do with the emptiness he felt in his chest. What did that mean anyway? That empty feeling had never bothered him. As a matter of fact, he had never noticed it until a few days ago. Subconsciously, his hands tightened into fists as he gritted his teeth.

Why? Why was all this bothering his _now_? They had never troubled him ever before, and yet here he was, hopelessly in a state of confusion, these feelings irritating him so _damn_ much. What did they even _mean_? So many feelings he couldn't name. Once upon a time, perhaps he could have put a name to one or two of them, but now… he'd forgotten long, long ago what they were and what they truly meant.

What had happened a few days ago to cause this unease? Oh, it must have been…

The boy scowled at his desk. What the hell? _What's wrong with me?_ _Why am I letting something so unimportant affect me?_ With a _tch_, he stood up and took one last glance out of the window. Seeing that the school was more or less empty now with the students all gone, he left his room and climbed up the various flights of stairs to the rooftop – _his _rooftop – where he leaned casually against the criss-crossed metal railings.

Or rather, it was more of a wall than a simple railing. It was a wall which separated him from the rest of the world. Naturally, that was a good thing, as he didn't like people interfering with his life, and it meant that people were separated from him too. Of course, that was also a good thing. He didn't like people. He didn't like being around people. He _hated_ crowds. And most of all, people were _boring_. Honestly, pretty much _everyone_ out there was a herbivore. And some actually _acted_ like herbivores… although they were classified as vegetarians. (That was slightly beside the point.)

Nonetheless, Hibari would much rather be on his own. He liked his solitude very much and would happily bite anyone who dared disturb him to death. But… since when? Since when had he preferred being alone, away from other human beings? He couldn't remember; it was too long ago. All that he could remember was that it hurt to be around others. It's a dog eat dog world out there and each person had to play for the top spot. If you lost or gave up or show any weakness, you would fall behind and never catch back up. That was why it was important to sever any bonds that may lead to weakness or sympathy. The rest of the boy's reasoning was lost in a deep darkness which had grown in the sixteen years that he'd been alive so far.

A gentle breeze swept through the boy's black hair, carrying pink cherry blossom petals across the sky. Calm silence descended upon Namimori Middle School. Fidgeting with his red Disciplinary Committee armband, he sat down on the hard concrete, leaning against the metal fence. Gazing up into the vast blue sky, he sighed. This was the one place he liked the best. This rooftop was _his_ rooftop, his place where he could attempt to forget about the worries of life. There wasn't much that he liked in the world, but this school was one of the few things which he liked. And it was fine to like this place because, his logic dictated, this school wasn't a living thing, hence it had not feelings and had very little capability of hurting people.

Hibari had gladly cut off his ties with everyone and almost everything, and yet, unbeknownst to himself, this very action had cut off the skylark's own pair of wings. And so he had trapped himself in a cage which was locked from the outside. He would no longer be able to free himself – that had to be done by someone else. And luckily for him, or so he fooled himself into believing, nobody would care enough about him to unfasten that lock and open that door.

As the cold boy stood up and prepared himself to carry out his rounds of the school, the long black sleeves of his jacket trailed lifelessly in the wind behind him, in place of the pair of wings the skylark had lost.


	2. The Skylark

Hellu, it's been an awfully long time since my last update... sorry for that. I have so much going on I barely have enough time for myself... But I shall try my best!

So this chapter was written over a number of weeks so it's probably a bit inconsistent and dodgy... I might change bits later on, so just a heads up...

Anyways, hope it's okay, and Hibari isn't too OOC and, oh. Important thing is that this is all set as if the events in KHR had never happened - I just took the characters and the school, so there won't be a lot of action and this lets Hibari enjoy the sight of pretty sakura flowers~

I do not own KHR (unfortunately

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The Skylark

Today was the same as yesterday – busy, boring and dull. Nothing ever changed.

Hibari laid his head on his desk as a feeling of déjà vu settled over him. He felt as if this had happened yesterday; he had been thinking about something similar yesterday too. Life was just an endless cycle of days, so he couldn't be sure whether it was yesterday or the day before… or the day before _that_. But perhaps – just _maybe_ – things would be different and less boring if… if…

Suddenly, his attention turned to a resounding _CRASH_ out in the corridor, accompanied by a cacophony of falling books and clattering pens. With a sigh, the black-haired teen got up from his chair and walked over to the door. Upon opening it, he saw a blond man scrawled over the floor, textbooks and pens scattered around him.

The boy could barely conceal the look of contempt on his face. It was _this _guy again. The man on the floor laughed casually as if this was an everyday occurrence. Sitting up, he asked, "You're the Disciplinary Head everyone's talking about aren't you?"

"And you're the English teacher everyone's talking about," replied the teen bluntly.

"Ah, yep, I think that might be me… um, I'm in a bit of a mess right now… could you help… possibly…" the blond man's voice dwindled away as he was put under the intense glare of the other boy. Nervously, he laughed again and gave a hopeful expression, "Please? After all, I am a teacher and…"

"Help yourself. I'm busy." And with that the disciplinary committee head turned around and strode away, not giving a second thought or glance, leaving the incompetent teacher (who was still sitting on the floor) behind.

As soon as he'd turned the corner, Hibari stopped dead in his tracks and leaned with his back against the wall. It had taken everything he had to stop himself from flustering and showing any sign of weakness. Stubbornly, he bit the inside of his lip as if that action would stop his frantically beating heart. Glaring at the ground, he felt the heat rush to his face. _What's_ _wrong with me?_

In a darker mood than before now, the boy frowned and carried on walking away briskly, determined to get as far away from _that_ teacher as possible. As he crossed the balcony, a rehearsal of the play _Romeo and Juliet _was going on in the hall below. Any other time, Hibari would have left straight away and left the drama club to their activities, but today of all days, he was burdened with a sudden urge to shout at them for no reason whatsoever. And yet, he suppressed that urge in order to listen to the rehearsals for a brief moment or two.

"O, speak again, bright angel!"

"O, Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father and –"

There was a loud clamour of falling props and the student in charge of directing demanded, "Watch where you stand, Romeo! Don't end up falling and pulling half the stage down with you!"

It was at that point that Hibari lost all his composure and unleashed his irritation upon the unwary students below. He shouted, "Can't you lot practise quieter? Or if you're just making a mess of it, don't do anything at all! Why don't you –"

Before he went too far, he managed to stop himself. Realising that his face had flushed bright red, he turned tail and strode away with what dignity he had remaining. Soon, he found himself half-running to his one haven – his rooftop. That was the one and only place where he felt like he belonged. Anywhere else and it always felt wrong, as if he wasn't supposed to be there.

With a cry of frustration, he burst out into the open air and stared up at the blue, cloudless sky. Hibari was about to walk over to that little bit of shade which he liked best when he suddenly froze realising that, for the very first time since he'd claimed this rooftop to be his, he wasn't the only one here. _What should I do?_ he thought, panicking.

At that moment, that _stupid_, _insolent_ person turned around. Could this day get any worse?

"We meet again, Kyoya~" the English teacher grinned and waved from where he was standing, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary. However, this just irritated the boy even more.

"What the heck do _you_ want?" shouted the boy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd lost his cool so much like this. But for some reason, shouting at this person made him feel better, as if the burden of keeping his façade had exhausted his mental strength and by yelling at this man he was recovering it.

"Now, now, that's no way to be speaking to a teacher–"

"I can do what I want!"

"You sound like a cute child~" laughed the blond man, clutching his stomach with the effort.

"I am not–" suddenly, Hibari stopped. A cute child? Was that an insult? Or was it… was it a compliment? His mind wandered back to the time when he _was_ a child. Back then, nobody had given him any compliments back then. So why would it be different now? Of course, he was just being teased. Someone like him would never be given things like care or compliments… or love.

Love. Was that the thing he was feeling? That unknown emotion building up inside the black-haired teen… perhaps it was love? But he would never know; he had never known what it was felt like to love someone. Sure, he knew what it meant to _like_ something – he liked little animals – but to _love_ something must be a whole different matter. Yet, every time he looked or even _glanced_ at this blond klutz, something inside his chest stirred, some in suppressible emotion he just couldn't understand.

"Hey, hey, Kyoya, come over here!"

The man grinned with an excited glimmer in his eyes. For a moment, Hibari hesitated. He shouldn't fall for such cheap tricks, but his curiosity eventually won over and he cautiously went to take a look at what the man was pointing at. However, he still kept his distance, wary as a frightened rabbit.

As his gaze followed the English teacher's outstretched hand, his eyes came to settle upon the cherry blossom trees, in full bloom like candyfloss. The pink flowers swayed in the breeze and petals were carried away upon the wind to some faraway place, beyond the horizon. The scent was soft and refreshing, the whole scene serene, and almost too magical to be true.

Though he felt relaxed by these flowers, the defiant boy kept up his façade and made an annoyed face, frowning at the man. "What am I supposed to be looking at?"

"The cherry blossoms, of course. They're pretty, aren't they, Kyoya?"

"No," came the blunt answer. With a bored expression, Hibari glanced away. For some reason, he felt bad for lying. And as he saw the blond's face drop with a dejected 'oh', the boy felt even worse. Not only was he lying to the man, he was lying to himself, crushing his own feelings…

But wasn't he used to that? Wasn't he all too accustomed to suppressing his own emotions? Yes, he was always in perfect control of his emotions… until this new feeling came along and confused everything. Now he couldn't even think of the man – his soft voice, his warm smile, his frustratingly happy and _pretty_ face – without having this new emotion torture him. Silently, he cursed and scolded himself for thinking such thoughts. Sure, boys could be with girls (they were weak to have to do so), but then there was the problem of, could a boy be with another boy? Besides, it wasn't as if he would succumb to such pathetic thoughts and feelings… right? No. Of course not. This was stupid nonsense. Nothing but idiocy. It would pass soon, like those fleeting clouds, and that would be the end of that… right?

The teacher stood there, the wind blowing through his blond hair. Hibari sneaked a quick look at the man, but immediately looked away again, fingering his shirt. He felt his cheeks grow hot and was scared it would be obvious to the other. Without a word, he strode off, much to Dino's disappointment.


End file.
